


Far As He Could Go

by thesirensong



Series: Janus learns how to treat people [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Manipulation, Toxic Behavior, Toxic Relationship, deceit can be seen as unsympathetic but its more like he just, fucked up really really bad, no happy ending, unrequited feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:35:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24010660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesirensong/pseuds/thesirensong
Summary: Deceit realizes he's made a mistake. One that's taken many years to develop.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Series: Janus learns how to treat people [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1736497
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	Far As He Could Go

**Author's Note:**

> I heard two lines from It Took Me By Surprise by Maria Mena and I decided to write angst. A rare occurrence, I know.

Deceit had a desire for  _ control _ . He had a desperation to be the one to call the shots, an obsession with being on top.

And in the end that's what fucked him over.

There wasn't an intention to be as… manipulative as he now recognized his actions to be. That hadn't been what he wanted, but it's what he got.

His actions lead to genuine hatred from the one side he wanted to love him.

Deceit wasn't sure when it had started. When they were kids and he had spun lies about the hatred from others and Virgil reacted by making Thomas quieter?

Back then their functions had been different. Deceit had  _ just _ been deceit, and Virgil had been caution and self preservation. 

Was it when they were teens and Deceit's lies had turned Virgil from caution to anxiety?

Deceit being self preservation now had a bit of irony, didn't it? Considering he'd destroyed his sense of home and belonging.

Whenever it had started, it had ended now.

Now when he had tried following Virgil to the light sides. Had heard them use his name that had taken him years to share with even Deceit.

He just hadn't realized it had ended, when he showed up to Virgil's room after the video to talk to him. Ask what the hell did he think he was doing?

"Why the hell do you care?" Virgil had snapped, and Deceit had gone quiet.

His silence made a noticeable spike in anxiety of the room's atmosphere.

Deceit's eyes widened when he noticed the fear and hatred in Virgil's eyes.

"What? You're gonna yell at me for standing my ground? Why not, you've done it for years every time I tried making myself known."

Wait that's not-

Except… it was, wasn't it?

"Virgil-"

" _ Don't _ call me that. You lost that right when I realized just how fucked up you treated me."

Deceit could feel his heart sink into his stomach.

This isn't how he wanted things to go. He'd just wanted to know when he'd become friends with  _ them _ . 

"Get out, Deceit. I don't want to see you in my room again," Virgil said, crossing his arms over his chest and leveling Deceit with a glare that turned his blood to ice.

His function raced through his ears. Virgil hadn't called him Deceit in private since they were kids.

"Wait, Vir- Anxiety, can you… Can you listen to me for a second?" he asked, verbally backpedaling because this situation was suddenly so far out of his control. 

Virgil scoffed.

"What, like you ever listened to me? Every time I tried to tell you how I thought something should go instead of how you planned it, you brushed me off."

Deceit's eyes were burning. Tears filling his eyes because Virgil's words stung with the truth of them.

"God, you're gonna cry now too? Fuck, Deceit, what do you  _ want? _ " Virgil hissed, lip curling into a snarl.

He saw no sympathy in his eyes.

"I-"

Wait. The truth, maybe that would save this situation? It was something he didn't usually resort to but…

"I want you to love me, I just-"

Virgil cut him off with a scoff, storming closer and not pausing when Deceit stumbled out of his way. He yanked his door open, and placed his palm flat on his chest.

"That's your problem," he snapped, and then promptly shoved Deceit out of his room. 

And Deceit lost control, barely able to hold back his breakdown until he sunk into his own room.

**Author's Note:**

> [I also have a discord server!!](https://discord.gg/7BmynET)


End file.
